For me, the issue of animals
having souls was no longer moot. It was fact. Thirty years ago, I
began my independent meditations into alternative belief systems. I
was first guided to Native American Animal Medicine. Looking back,
it all made sense. Through my meditations and readings, I began to
accept that not did animals have souls, they had spirit medicine.
They had power. As I began to look into what my totems were I found
amazing correlations. I love all animals but there were some with
whom I had a natural affinity my whole life: horses, wolves,
dolphins and big cats. These are, among others, my totems. Now I
knew my spiritual path would lead me increasingly to earth based
beliefs. I have called my totems to assist me with finding guidance
during hard times, for protection-especially for my daughter. The
sudden surge of spirit power within myself that I experience at
these times could wake me up from a deep sleep.
Not a day goes by that I do not make note of the first animal I see
outside nor am I surprised every spring when ants invade my house
and I will not kill them. Every year, they come around, I
discovered, to give me a message and until I realize what it is, I
am invaded. When I find that 'eureka!" moment, they disappear.
Neither my husband nor I will kill spiders. We simply move them
outside of the house. As a writer, how could I possible kill the
animal that is the essence of creativity? We have bats that live
under our roof on our porch. I have affectionately named them
Elizabeth-Patrice and Bob. You see we have a large pond by our
house and during the West Nile scare a couple of years ago,
Elizabeth-Patrice and Bob had nightly feasts and we had absolutely
no mosquitoes. We feed the skunks that live under our porch
leftovers from dinner and when we have encountered them at night,
it is almost like neighbors passing each other and saying 'Hello".
Both Bats and skunks are very significant to me personally. Bat
medicine is a very challenging one to call to oneself. It will
require brutal and painful self-examination and accountability
before one can move forward from one phase of life into the next. I
have called upon the bat to help me fight my shadow self, my inner
demons and depression. A painful process I can assure you yet
afterwards I always find a new path to follow with a lighter heart
for I always gain self forgiveness. Now skunk medicine can be very
funny. It can make you very popular or unpopular. As a solitary
eclectic, skunk medicine has literally kept unwanted visitors at
bay. I have peace within myself and within my home for only my
closest friends and family come by to visit. My teacher in Native
ways, Ceremonial Chief WhiteEagle of Narrowsburg, New York has
taught me how to free the spirit of a dead bird and how to accept
its medicine so that its power on the side continues to grow. Of
all these wonderful experiences, I have had some on the astral
plane that have amazed even me. Years ago, my husband and I got a
puppy. It was his first marriage and my second and we were both
animal lovers so we began our joyfully with our combined
menageries. We got Sheba so she would the first dog that would be
'ours', not his, not mine. My daughter also dogs and cats of her
own. Needless to say, we relocated to a farm so all of our animals
could have a wonderful life. Sheba used to play with my daughter's
dog Penny. One day, I let out the dogs and hung outside with them
as I always do. A sudden storm rolled in. All of the dogs came
quickly in except for Penny and Sheba. The lightning and thunder
was incredible and along came Penny but with no Sheba. At the time,
Sheba was only about five months old. I ran out in the rain calling
for her, desperately hoping she was just hiding nearby.
When my husband came home from work, I tearfully told him what had
happened. By this time the rain had stopped. I continued walking
the woods on foot and the roads while he saddled up and took to the
trails where she might be hiding. We could not find her. We hunted
for her all the next day into night. I was beside myself. I
couldn't sleep from the time she disappeared but finally succumbed
that evening when it became too dark and late to look
anymore.
Suddenly, I felt wide-awake. I got up from the bed and decided to
walk to the window. Sitting outside were three of the biggest
hounds I had ever seen in my life. I could hear them speak thought
they did not even bark. I knew they were asking for instructions. I
instructed them to run and go find Sheba and they ran off, bounding
down the road. Not a word was spoken. The words were thought. After
that I turned to go back to bed and saw myself lying in bed. I
walked over, sat down and reclined into myself. When we woke up, I
just told my husband, Ralph, to go out and look for Sheba becuase
he would find her "today". I would tell him my dreamtime experience
later. A couple of hours later, he returned with a frightened, but
happy to be home, puppy. He passed construction workers working on
one of the side roads and asked if they had seen a puppy fitting
Sheba's description. Indeed they had. As my husband turned to go
back to the truck to look in the aresa, one of the men said, "Hey,
there she is!" She was cowering under some fallen branches from a
tree. When called her she ran into his arms and came home.
As Sheba grew, she became was such a character! She slept with us
on the bed, between us and I would fall asleep rubbing her fur
inbetween my fingers. But, during the day when the bed was made and
the bedspread on teh bed, the bedroom was off limits. Sometimes,
just for fun I would leave the door open. She would sneak into the
bedroom and then shut the door behind her! I would walk in and when
she knew I caught she literally would smile- teeth showing from one
end of her mouth to the other!
And then, at a young age, Sheba died. I grieved for her everyday. I
grieved because she needed emergency surgery and did not survive
the night. The guilt I felt that Sheba may have been aware that she
was in strange place away from home when she died, tore at my soul.
The Irish in me would choke down tears but when Ralph wasn't around
the Hsipanic in me would sob with sorrow.
It was one of those bitterly cold winter afternoons and the chores
outside at the barn had frankly made me very sleepy. I decided to
take a nap. It seemed that no sooner had my head hit the pillow
that I fell asleep.
Suddenly I did not feel tired anymore. I sat up and turned to get a
cigarette. I figured I might as well get up and go into the living
room. As I turned, I noticed myself lying there. The hand that
rested on the bed was resting on the bed but THROUGH me. I stood up
and looked down. My feet were not on the floor at all but about two
feet above it. I walked through my bedroom door and into the living
room. I saw my husband my husband and Jack (my daughter's
boyfriend) watching television but they did not see me. I sat down
on a chair and suddenly running toward me, two feet above the floor
as I was, was Sheba! She ran into my arms. I cried and hugged her
and told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was that she died
alone. I told her I missed her and wished she were still with me
because I missed her so much. She sat in front of me, wagged her
tail, and gave me that smile. Then, she turned and I watched her
walk away. I went back into the bedroom, reclined into myself once
more and did not wake up for a few hours. When I woke up, I knew
she came to me to ease my grief and she did. I have not cried for
her since. Most of our animals are rescues. We found them
abandoned, starving, freezing to death, or malnourished because the
owner could not afford to feed them. Some were almost hit by cars,
some were hit by cars and rehabilitated and adopted by great
people. Still others were found when only an hour old and so on and
so on. We have returned lost pets, adopted lost animals and placed
lost pets. It is what we do.
